Dialogue in Journaling
Using Dialogue in Journaling: A Creative Tool for Self-Reflection
Harness the power of dialogue in writing and journaling
Imagine a book without any dialogue.
It sounds unbelievably dull, right?
I don’t just mean dialogue that has been taken out of its speech marks and internally monologised or streamed into consciousness.
(Yes, Virginia Woolf, I am looking at you.)
I mean a book that has no dialogue at all, no communication between characters.
You’d probably quit reading by the first chapter, right?
Well, what if you could supercharge your own journaling the way that dialogue impacts a novel?
How can dialogue improve your journaling insights?
Understanding what dialogue does for books can help you see what it might do for you.
Dialogue exists to take the reader straight into the heart of communication and relationship.
It exists to pull us into the humanity of a book and the humanity within us.
It incites conflict and resolves confusion.
It’s often laced with emotion or resistance.
It reveals what’s unspoken in any situation.
It moves our characters forward in understanding.
Good dialogue illuminates a book.
Great dialogue is the magic that makes characters as real to us as our own loved ones.
It’s a literary tool of connection.
What if you could use dialogue in journaling to communicate with yourself and unlock deeper self-reflection?
Journaling is often seen as connecting with your inner voice, a singular cohesive aspect of ‘yourself’ speaking an absolute truth.
But what if it could be more?
So Much More?
Like Arthurian Legends, the Knights of the Round Table, Excalibur level more?
What is Dialogue in Journaling?
Dialogue introduces more than just you into your journal.
Dialogue can create a seismic shift in your connection to yourself.
It introduces you to yourself as a legion of besties waiting to carry you into the fray of battle (life), your strongest Knight (clarity) carrying the Excalibur of your soul (action).
Dialogue challenges the notion of a singular cohesive identity.
Instead, it acknowledges that we are a complex mix of personas, each managing different needs and pressures. It allows us to embrace the extended experiences we carry within us at any one time. It can reconnect us to aspects of ourselves that life has taught us to hide or diminish. And it can give a safe space to confront parts of our identity that cause blocks and barriers to progress.
Use dialogue as a regular tool to transform your self-reflection, tap into different aspects of yourself and gain deeper clarity.
When to use dialogue in journaling.
If you like the idea but aren’t sure when to apply it, in this article we’ll look at applying it in three situations:
Shift into dialogue if you have an array of options and feel completely stuck with making a choice.
Use dialogue on days when you don’t know what to write but feel the need to write something.
Use dialogue to arm yourself before a challenging task.
The best time to use dialogue is in any situation where there feels some potential conflict of interests or lack of clarity. As you begin to use the structure in this article, you will get to know the different parts of yourself more clearly and what each of them does for you.
The more you use it, the more opportunities you’ll see where it is helpful.
Three steps to applying dialogue for self-reflection:
Step 1: List your characters
Set yourself a timer for 3 minutes and write a list of all the versions of yourself.
We call these I-positions in coaching. They represent the multiple ways in which you show up in the world.
For example, here are some that you might consider, using myself as an example:
I as writer
I as author
I as mother
I as sister
I as coach
I as business owner
I as friend
I as my 8-year self (you might call this Inner Child I)
I as Fight response
I as Introvert
You get the idea… set the timer to create containment to this exercise and go.
In group sessions this has produced between 7 and 21 I-positions.
So there is no right or wrong number.
Step 2: Begin a dialogue in your journal
Now use dialogue journaling to allow your various characters to collaborate and support one another.
Invite two those aspects of yourself from your list into dialogue in your journal.
Not sure who to choose?
Remember the three situations we were thinking of using it for? Here’s how a dialogue might work for those situations:
Choose two characters who feel particularly relevant to a difficult choice you need to make. They may have conflicting needs and that is why the choice feels impossible. Let them talk directly to one another.
If you feel unsure what you want to write about, look over your list and ask who wants to share something. You might be surprised by the aspect of yourself that is feeling ignored. Let them talk directly to you, or ask them which other I-position they want to communicate with.
Choose two who are going to help you feel supported for a task and ask them to brainstorm best solutions. Or select one who feels overwhelmed by the task entirely and one who knows exactly how to help.
Some tips for Step 2 of using dialogue in journaling:
Let this new form of writing feel quite natural, you’re not aiming for perfect publishable dialogue. Here are some pointers to help:
Tip 1: You don’t have to use speech marks, a capital letter to signify which character is speaking is helpful (I as Friend = F, I as Introvert = I), or you could simply use a – to signify that the conversation is shifting between characters.
Tip 2: Let their dialogue flow as speech does. They may interrupt one another. They may shout (use capitals). They may swear (let it out, it’s in your journal, it’s ok). They may accuse each other of horrible things. They may want to offer comfort or wisdom. They may have felt silenced for a long while and need a complete Hamlet moment.
Tip 3: Give them space to speak, don’t try to control what comes. After they have communicated directly with one another, you could ask them what they have to say about a certain subject and get them to agree on a course of action.
Tip 4: If they get stuck, or the argument gets too heated to be helpful, invite another I-position into the discussion to mediate.
Tip 5: Toward the end, interject with a question asking them to reach an agreement about how to make the next step.
After you have written your dialogue, walk away for at least ten minutes (kettle break) and then come back for the final step.
Step 3: Rewrite for reflection
When you return, read through the dialogue ready to gain insight for your reflection write (re-write).
Your reflection write is where you adapt the subconscious dialogic process into conscious awareness. After reading it through, write a shorter piece that completes this sentence stem:
What I needed to hear was…
And be prepared for some real insights!
Here are some other questions that might be useful for you to use with your reflection write.
What surprised you about the dialogue?
What emotions came through (from your characters) as you read it?
What emotion do you feel as you read it back?
What comfort have they given you?
What need have you identified that they are expressing?
How can you show up for these characters in your actions?
Who is your best ally in this particular moment of your life?
Now that you have the basic steps under your belt, let’s consider some final ways to incorporate dialogue into your journaling.
A final word.
Because someone always has to have the last say in a conversation!
Allow this process to grow as your confidence in using dialogue grows.
You may discover that other I-positions demand a seat at the table because you have been ignoring them. Welcome all.
Develop their identities, give them clear personas and you will be able to increasingly see how they show up in your daily life as well as your journal. Learn who has power in what situations, and who is most qualified to wield your choices.
You could hold a meeting of your personal ‘Round Table’ on a regular basis and be the scribe to what comes out.
If you used this method and got clarity or insight, be sure to email me at marianne@mariannerosen.com and let me know what was useful for you. I respond to every email personally.
And feel free to share this post with a friend you know who may use journaling, or even just struggle to make decisions for themselves.
If you'd like more journaling exercises like this, be sure to subscribe to Rewrite Today, my fortnightly newsletter full of transformative prompts and reflections.
Here’s what the last edition brought back from a reader:
“And my goodness everything you say resonates so powerfully. All those three questions today are exactly what I… need to review. This is what your Rewrite Today has unleashed today... and it is enormously helpful to me.”
Or, if you’ve loved the metaphor of Arthurian legend, try this post on using storytelling in your journaling, with a free download for 100 storytelling prompts that might be absolutely perfect for you.
Singular or plural, the time you spend writing is never wrong. Let it fit your lifestyle, not some ideal of journaling. Play around, slot it alongside existing habits, be flexible. Try this new idea and see if it helps, and if it doesn’t, come back to look for more ideas.